Michelle Yuroschuck and I took a six week fencing class through a learning extension catalog in the winter of, I wanna say ‘86. It was at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institue, and it must’ve just been through their intramural fencing club. Our moms took turns driving us. We got to wear the face guards and practice the poses and lunges and parries. Honestly, I think it was mostly stretching.

The only specific and vivid memory happened during the entire course, was our “final” night when we had one actual face-to-face fencing match against another student opponent. We put on the full gear. The guy I was facing kept getting so excited that rather than the fancy lunge poke that you’re supposed to do he kept swinging his sword excitedly. He was so out of control that he whacked me on my ass –  twice! Those foils are basically quarter inch thick car antennas. I had marks on my left hip for days after. I remember how badly it hurt both times, and when it happened the second time I lost my shit and yelled at him to knock it off and calm the hell down.

Technically I won the bout.