We were more than a day late getting home from our honeymoon, because of the joys of air travel, involving a dust storm in Phoenix, a temperature of 100 degrees at midnight, and the only time in my life flying first class. The travel was what we used to call “an ordeal” before the world descended into a COVID-fueled hellscape.

While we were away, friends Greg, Carolyn, Beth, Scott, and Jarrett came by and “decorated“ our apartment for when we got home. They did some wonderful things. They used the last of the helium and balloons. There were balloons everywhere. They even filled the washer and dryer with balloons, which was cool. They hid these lovely little fortune-cookie-sized notes in every drawer, nook, cranny and book in the place. I was still finding those little notes, 15 years later, saying “You may now kiss the bride”. I’m pretty sure the books still have some waiting to be found. It was lovely.

Unfortunately, they also put confetti all over the ceiling fan in our bedroom, which was not. Objectively, it was a pretty cool idea/prank. However, we got home near midnight after two exhausting days of travel, and I literally just wanted to fall into my bed. I turned on the ceiling fan and paper rained from the sky. I grumbled, slapped the fan control off, and we cleaned up the bedspread. After that mess, we folded down the bedcovers, undressed, and turned the ceiling fan back on, whereupon the rest of the confetti fell into my bed, and stuck to my sweaty body. I lost my shit. I went full-Hulk.I literally threw the queen mattress off it’s frame. I cursed my friends’ names, and only didn’t call them because it was so late. I was so furious with them, that even the next morning, at church, I was mad at Greg Hale’s joyous, congratulatory face. Poor guy. Such good friends caught so much wrath for such a lovely gift. 

Do you remember refrigerator magnet poetry kits? I think it was Jarrett who spent his time composing a message for when we returned. It has been a fixture in our kitchen for 21 years. It’s been moved from place to place and fridge to fridge and it’s on my refrigerator door now: 

 friend s leave

a thousand gift s

after you go away

they must love you still